Different types of go-go bar customers

Bangkok has a huge number of pleasure palaces, it’s often the number one reason why some guys visit the city of sin. For other guys it’s the only reason they visit. Bangkok’s go-go bars and girls are usually fun and friendly and will let you drag them back to your hotel for a fee- regardless of your looks. If you’re not the most handsome specimen and have a face only your mother could love it will simply cost you more Baht to get some action with a mattress actress. It’s a bizarre economy.

Customers who frequent Bangkok’s red light areas such as Nana Plaza aka “The three floors of Whores” come in all shapes and sizes, from all walks of life and can be generally lumped into the following categories: so which one do you belong to?

Perverts Row

This guy knows exactly what he is looking for- he waltzes straight into the bar and heads straight over to perverts row. “Pervert’s Row” is the seating directly in front of (or around) the stage at a go-go bar. The view is incredible. It provides easy access to the stage itself, for stage diving or stripper interaction. This guy isn’t shy, he is here for maximum interaction with the girls. He has a bird’s eye view of the talent on offer and intends to use it to his advantage to snatch the best prey on offer. Often the favorite haunt of our Japanese friends- these guys like to sit on Pervert’s Row enjoying nothing more than ogling the chrome crumpet at close quarters.

Best seats in the house for some up close and personal action

The Octopus

This slippery customer is termed “The Octopus” for a reason- he is a skilled groper. At times it appears  he has more than two arms as he gropes his pray at will and pays little attention to whether the lady is consensual or not. Often seen in a trance-like state paying little attention to his surroundings, once this creature is in full-on pervert mode there is little stopping him. He eyes up a suitable spot to sit in that has plenty of space and he will use this space to his advantage- groping multiple victims simultaneously. This guy isn’t here for the beer, his priority is filling his newly created lair with several dancing dolly birds… however he will have a hefty bar bill as he rotates ladies looking for a suitable candidate to drag back to his den for some real hardcore hands-on action.

Are you a serial groper?


Captain Save A Whore

These guys are often classed as “White Knights”- generally good guys who are decent and pretty pitiful at best. These guys are a bar girl’s dream; more interested in listening to their hard luck stories than taking them back to their room for a bit of mattress action. They tend to get attached to a go-go girl and think that they’re going to save her from “that life”.  Unfortunately, that means they usually get taken advantage of. You’ll see them a few months later on a Facebook feed with an empty wallet begging outside a 7/11 with a sign asking for donations for their plane fare home.

The 2 Week Tourist Brigade

Next up is the guys gone wild brigade, for these sex starved western pissed up pricks who haven’t had any pussy for months on end the thought of hitting the “three floors of whores”, aka Nana Plaza fills them with as much excitement as a chocoholic fat kid who has just found  Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket. Some of the group manage to hold it together and act quite normal- just wanting to relax and have a few drinks whilst talking to a pretty girl. However some of the group are so excited by the fact they are in pussy paradise they let out wild screeches like a teenage girl at a Justin Bieber concert. Others simply drink themselves into oblivion; seeing if they can down more tequila than the bars resident bar girl alcoholic, meanwhile others lose their clothes and stagger onto the stage, thinking they are in the music video for “Smack My Bitch Up”.

Screaming like teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert

The Self-Righteous Prick

This wanker more likely than not a western guy in his mid-twenties who was too much of a drop out bum to make it in the real world so took the easy option and decided to go to Thailand and teach English even though he can barely read or write a word of the Queen’s English himself. He will lecture you about how he has never paid for pussy in his life and never will do- and all the guys who do are the “dregs of society” and should be banned from Thailand for life.

Paying for pussy is a sin and you will burn in hell

Normal Guys

Yes that’s right, believe it or not normal guys do visit go-go bars. Not all go-go bar customers fit into any of the categories above, some guys like to hit a go-go bar slurp on a few singha’s, check out a Doris or two and may even go on to pay her for a bit of mattress actress shenanigans. But remember that one thing you are paying a girl it is a business transaction treat it as exactly that and you will have the time of your life don’t get hooked up on a hooker, have your fun and move on after all there are there are thousands of girls in Bangkok get out there and get you’re card stamped by as many girls as possible. Enjoy